?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Jul. 11th, 2004 @ 03:49 am PANTS!
feels: crazyPantastic!
I wrote Pants!fic. Happy!Verse fic about pants. Because while y'all are good with the actual relationship stuff, I am good with the Sam!angst. And talking about pants. And so, I present, with links,



Shopping for Pants
By elly 'you know how I feel about pants' '427

Lately, shopping for clothes has become a lot more . . . interesting.

Sexy is the word she wants to use but doesn't, won't, tries to not to notice the heat creeping into her cheeks.

She doesn't look at the chair next to the door, piled high with discarded pairs of pants. She has a hard time buying pants. Most are too short, and the ones that aren't are too big or too small in the hips and thigh.

And suddenly (well, if she's honest with herself, not all that suddenly) there's a new requirement, something else she's got to think about other than can I wash and dry these and not iron them?

No, this shopping trip she's suddenly worried about things like how thick the material is, what sort of access it might provide to a pair of incredibly talented roving hands, how low of a waist band she can conceivably get away with (being in her late 30s, this is an issue) and trying to remember exactly how long a certain set of fingers really are. She’s even tried to measure with her own hands, has placed her fingers at the waist band and debated what someone with slightly longer fingers might be able to reach. It’s a lovely thought

She's red now, can see it in the mirror, and knows anyone watching the security tape she's sure the camera hidden behind the mirror is recording is going to wonder what the hell she's thinking about. If they don't know already, she thinks, and tries to calm her breathing and her heart

Sadly, the cords she's trying on at the moment don't meet the majority of her criteria: too short, a little tight at the waist and too baggy around her hips. The fabric is nice, however, and for just a second she imagines how the bumps and ridges would feel being pressed up against her

It only takes a second for her to realize what she's doing, and she ignores the fact that her fingers fumble with the button for just a second, and then the pants are down and off and she's reaching for the next pair

And whoever thought Cuffed Gaucho Pants were a good idea should be shot. Seriously. Somewhere unnecessary but painful. In the kneecap, maybe

The gaucho pants go back on the hanger and she stands in her underwear and t-shirt and contemplates what she's got left. Eyes the shorts and knows she shouldn't (it's only March, after all, and springtime in Colorado is still a ways off) but can't help thinking about how a certain pair of tanned hands might start at her knees and slowly work their way up and under the hem, and that red pair is certainly short enough that those fingers would certainly be able to reach some interesting places

The heat creeps up her neck again and she sorts through the pile she's got left. Pauses as she looks at the cargo capris the salesgirl had assured her were "super comfortable!" before she'd started yell into her headset about bootcut jeans.

They do look comfortable and the cut's probably pretty good and there wouldn't be the worry about length. The fabric is soft and thin and just stretchy enough that she'd bet, combined with the relaxed fit of the pants themselves, would allow for there to be some pretty interesting movement and pressing and rubbing and friction and whatnot.<

And for a second she's tempted, until she holds them up to her waist and looks in the mirror and can see just enough of on-base-Carter, can see just enough of what she tries to shed when she leaves the mountain that she turns away almost in a panic and hurries to put the pants behind a few other pairs on the bar of discards

She takes a deep breath and tries not to think what the hell am I doing? Grabs a pair of jeans off the top of the pile and pulls them on and they fit and they're long enough and for right now, that's going to be enough.

She's got them half off when someone knocks at the door and asks "you doin' all right in there?" She rolls her eyes and continues to pull, taking off one sock in the process.

"I'm doing okay. Thank you!"

"Okay! I found these pants in your size and thought you might like to try. I'll throw them over the top, m'kay?" And a pair of black pants in some slippery fabric comes sliding over the top. She grabs at them before they fall, and they slide through her fingers, just a little, before she can really get a grip on them

And she pauses, because these pants? Not really her style. But for just a second it's not her hands on the fabric, it's browned hands with a few blond hairs and knuckles that sometimes catch in the most interesting places, and those hands are all but gliding over the fabric and all the right places, slipping and sliding and pulling and letting the hands move in the most incredible way and good god, she needs to own these pants, regardless of how they fit.

She slides them on and they're just long enough; she'll never be able to wear heels with them, but that's okay. They fit around the waist and are just the slightest bit snug through the hips and around her butt, but that's probably okay. More than okay for a certain someone, but she's not letting herself have that thought.

She leaves the dressing room a mess and feels a little bad for the minimum wage peon who has to clean it up, but she's got to get home and dressed because she and Jack are grabbing dinner tonight and she's got to decide if she has a shirt that will go with these pants, or if she should wear the new jeans and save the other pants for a special occasion.

The girl at the front rings her through and thank god for sales, though it's not like she has a lot of opportunity to spend her paycheck on clothes.

She smiles her thanks and takes her bag, wraps the strings around her wrist and makes her way out of the store.

She consults her watch and it's not as late as she thought. She's got a little time. She mentally sorts through her wardrobe and comes up with a sweater she can wear with the new pants, and suddenly she can't wait for tonight.

She's halfway out of the mall when another store catches her eye and she's got time, and thinks with a grin that maybe she needs a trip to Victoria's Secret to get something to go with these pants



I can't believe I wrote that. AND provided links
vital statistics
bsg lee [ innafield at the end ]
elly427:
[User Picture Icon]
From:lyssie
Date:July 11th, 2004 01:25 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Awwww. Hee!

Suddenly, shopping sounds like a whole new ballgame. *cackles*
[User Picture Icon]
From:elly427
Date:July 11th, 2004 03:24 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Well, someone had to write about all the new issues Sam would face whilst shopping for pants, and I do love pants.
[User Picture Icon]
From:lifelongfling
Date:July 11th, 2004 07:03 am (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
hehehehe....oh how I love pants!verse!
[User Picture Icon]
From:elly427
Date:July 11th, 2004 03:24 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
It makes me laugh and laugh. Hee!
[User Picture Icon]
From:mylittleredgirl
Date:July 11th, 2004 08:19 am (UTC)

OMG!! *obsesses*

(Permanent Link)
OMGELLYILOVEYOU!!!

Ahahahahaha this is THE BEST!! It is METAPANTS!! SO great, and really, the ONLY time you will find me on The Gap website *beams*

Really. Brilliant. *laughs* So cute!! PANTSVERSE IS AMAAAAAZING!!

And it's it nice to run away from the angst a bit?? (Says Little Red, who, oddly enough, while waiting for you, ended up writing angst about the pants!verse. Which just... shouldn't be allowed *EYES muse*... but will get posted anyway once spellchecked because, hey, this is a community for randomunpolishedthoughtsthatinvolvepants!!)

But GOD, this is so perfect and... pants-y. And hee. Silly little Sam.

And suddenly (well, if she's honest with herself, not all that suddenly) there's a new requirement, something else she's got to think about other than can I wash and dry these and not iron them?

This is why I adore you forever. You have encapsulated pants!verse in one sentence. And... incidentally, a sentence about actual pants

*MUCHLOVE*

-- Little Red, SO glad for this community :)
[User Picture Icon]
From:elly427
Date:July 14th, 2004 10:17 pm (UTC)

Re: OMG!! *obsesses*

(Permanent Link)
the ONLY time you will find me on The Gap website

I couldn't think of any other generic maker of pants.

PANTSVERSE IS AMAAAAAZING!!

PANTSVERSE RULZZZZZZZZZZZ! I love the pantsverse. I'd like to live there. And you wrote the pantsverse ANGST! *loves you madly* You know how I feel about angst.

PANTS! *falls to the ground in a tizzy of PANTS! love


[User Picture Icon]
From:mylittleredgirl
Date:July 14th, 2004 10:26 pm (UTC)

Re: OMG!! *obsesses*

(Permanent Link)
But see, in the pants!verse -- ANGST IS SOLVED WITH A HUG AND PIZZA!

PANTSVERSEISSOAMAZINGOMG!!1!

Also, if you don't mind, I'm writing a sequel to your AMAZING pants!verse fic about pants. In which he sees her in said pants. Because your story is THEMOSTAMAZINGTHINGEVER and all inspirational and stuff and too good to end there :)

*lovesyoumadly*
[User Picture Icon]
From:mylittleredgirl
Date:July 11th, 2004 08:20 am (UTC)

oh, and

(Permanent Link)
maybe she needs a trip to Victoria's Secret to get something to go with these pants

Thank God Sam got over the "we have to keep ALL our clothing on" requirement, eh? Because pants are much more manageable :-D
[User Picture Icon]
From:elly427
Date:July 14th, 2004 10:18 pm (UTC)

Re: oh, and

(Permanent Link)
And what's under them becomes a nice, pleasant problem. :D
[User Picture Icon]
From:lyssie
Date:July 11th, 2004 03:51 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oh! Also, is Sam TRYing to give Jack a heart attack? Victoria's Secret AND shiny shimmery slippery pants? Ssssssaaaaaaam!
[User Picture Icon]
From:elly427
Date:July 14th, 2004 10:19 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
She's trying to give him something. A heart attack is not it.

dirty!
[User Picture Icon]
From:lyssie
Date:July 14th, 2004 10:37 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Yepyep.

*pats Sam who is being all devious and stuff*
[User Picture Icon]
From:besyd
Date:July 12th, 2004 08:33 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Whee! Boy am I glad I joined soon enough to catch this! Such a great reference point. Heh.
[User Picture Icon]
From:elly427
Date:July 14th, 2004 10:19 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Oh, pants. They mean everything in this 'verse. :D
[User Picture Icon]
From:fatema
Date:April 6th, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)
(Permanent Link)
Whee! That's awesome! Recently introduced to the Pants!Verse, this is awesome!